Le France & Italia...Do it!

One of our main objectives on this trip was to save money, but that went right out the window our first night on the boat over to France. After spending sweet FA on our dinner thinking we'd done such a great job, we thought we'd celebrate by going for one sneaky pint. Several hours later we were absolutely locked chatting with the band from the cabaret bar and two other travelers (not the caravan kind); James from Dublin and a lovely girl called Courtney with midwestern values from Missouri. Jimbo joined us on our leg to Paris although I think he'd have been a bit quackier on the train, and much more comfortable! Anyway, after getting through Paris we camped on our first night in some place by a river. Got the tents up grand and settled down for our first dinner on French soil. Le fromage au le crackers avec trois boutille de cider in a champagne bottle (3 euro a pop, classy!). C'est bon!!! You can clearly tell we've been practicing our French! However, as soon as it cones time to actually talk to Frenchy, we pussy out and end up gibbering something in English in a French accent. If it worked for Uncle Albert, I don't see why it should work of us. Day one done and done!

As much as it kills me to admit it, France is an absolutely gorgeous country. Definitely worth a drive around, but stay off the motorways unless you want to get completely raped by Frenchy! He takes no prisoners… 35 euro for one tunnel, but in fairness, it was a class tunnel. After lost of searching, we set up camp in a deep gorge, absolutely amazing looking place just below a little village called something like Oncieu (google map it). It was like going back in time. We pulled up beside some young French lad on his porch and told Podge to say "Ou et el camping" and Podge sticks his head out the window and shouts "CAMPING, CAMPING?" so your man's mum comes out and Podge repeats… "CAMPING" to which Mrs. Frenchy replies… "Oooh, LE camping" in a French accent of course. Then the young Frenchy started speaking English and gave us directions. I'm sure Mrs. Frenchy was so proud!

Sooo, after spending our last night in le France, we headed for Italia.

Our first port of call was the city of Genoa (or Genova as the Italians call it (an absolute hole, don't go there)). I ended up driving up a one way street to avoid a traffic jam with la Polizia staring right at me. Some auld lad was coming down the street and kept blocking me by driving right up to our bumper and making an X with his fingers. The police man just stood there having a smoke and a chat as I tried to reverse back. We eventually managed to get out of there and on towards Roma. We drove till about 1 am and pulled off the motorway trying to find a sneaky place to camp but ended up coming across a camping site., hallelujah, or so we thought. . Unfortunately, like Frenchy, the Italians decided to rape us too. 60 feckin euro for the night. Ma nadge a San d'Antone!

The next morning, we set off from our Rapist campsite in the north of Italy to Pompei in the south.

After a lot of motorways and a nap or two we eventually ended up at the foot of Mount Vesuvius, and found a class camp site; 'Spartan Camping', directly across the road from old Pompei (<---that's the only picture I took there, I forgot my camera when we went to the ruins). Dave, an Auzzie who was camping beside us joined us on our third 1.10 euro bottle of gorgeous red wine. A few glasses later, Myself, Podge and Dave hit the local Italian bar and ended up barking at some psycho dogs through a fence. on the way home...when in Rome! I'm never drinking again. Woke up at eight and thought I was in an oven. Worst hangover I've ever had. We spent most of the morning in the shade before before heading over to do the touristy stuff in the ruins. After Pompei we headed across Italy to Bari/Brindisi in the south east.

By the time we got there it was already dark so we decided to camp on the beach. Great idea at the time; we set up our tents, Janer cooked a savage tomato, basil and mozzarella salad (thanks Janer) and we all headed to bed early for a good nights sleep. However, we were all woken up about 3am with the tents literally taking off. There was an absolute howler of a wind and sand was going everywhere. With every blast of wind, I got a nice big heap of sand on my face, then the zip got stuck on the door so I couldn't close it, complete and utter disaster. Had to just grin and bear it and try get a few winks of sleep. Podge took the other option of collapsing the tent, wrapping his sleeping bag around his head and pretending it never happened. You live and learn!

After the beach disaster, we packed our shit and drove around Brindisi taking it really easy. No more long trips in one day. We drove down the coast a bit and got an unbelievable cappachino and some breakfast in a little place in the middle of nowhere, right by the sea...This gave us the perfect opportunity to start taking some messy photos... of course some seriously arty photos…

Wait till I change this one to black and white, it's going straight up on the bathroom wall!!!

After breakfast we headed around a bit more and found a class beach and did some well deserved sunbathing and swimming, then onwards to the Brindisi town (bit of a dumpsky) to get the boat. Our tickets said our seats were on the deck, so we thought it was just some weird boat term for lounge? However, when we got on board we were directed further and further to the back of the boat with the rest of the paupers, and yes, we spent the night outside on the deck… At least we had a tent! That ended our week of non stop driving. Ciao Italia. Next stop…Greece!!!